Earlier this week a meme went around with a quote from Dorothy Parker "Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common." This quote produced some discussion and a lot of thought on my part. The quote by Ms. Parker makes this distinction quickly with the sharp contrast of two words that anyone might use interchangeably without considering the deeper implications. What is "normal" and "common"? Why should or should we not use them interchangeably? Please indulge me sharing a few definitions with you, my dear readers.
Normal: usual or ordinary; not strange. Conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern.
Common: occurring or appearing frequently; not rare. Of or relating to a community at large.
On the surface these two words seem synonymous, however I challenge that they hold subtle differences that when used in society to describe specific individuals these words can cause a sense of isolation and exclusion. Normal imparts a qualitative distinction, where Common imparts a quantitative designation. When something is "normal" it is regular and in keeping with expectations. When something is "common" it is frequently encountered.
The differentiating factor becomes more clear when we make the words antonyms. Normal to Abnormal and Common to Uncommon. Abnormal is consistently used to qualify situations or organisms with negative traits, e.g. abnormal growth, abnormal results, or abnormal behavior. Uncommon enumerates a rarely occurring circumstance or sought after quantity, e.g. uncommon valor, uncommon skills, or Uncommonly Good.
As we use our vast language, we must be mindful of the nuances that we unintentionally place in our conversations. I regularly lack the precise word I wish to use and must make do with the first word that comes to mind, whether it is the one I wanted or not. While communicating, it is convenient to use the first word on the tip of our tongues and brains, and certainly not always with the intention to injure another. Yet, when one considers the message that is being subtly sent each and every time the word "normal" is used in conjunction with something that is in fact "common" we are telling others that not being a part of the majority makes them an unwanted quality, such as cancer.
Women and men are both common and normal. Heterosexuality is common and normal. Homosexuality is less common and normal.
Love one another and experience #maximizedempowerment every day!
Normal: usual or ordinary; not strange. Conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern.
Common: occurring or appearing frequently; not rare. Of or relating to a community at large.
On the surface these two words seem synonymous, however I challenge that they hold subtle differences that when used in society to describe specific individuals these words can cause a sense of isolation and exclusion. Normal imparts a qualitative distinction, where Common imparts a quantitative designation. When something is "normal" it is regular and in keeping with expectations. When something is "common" it is frequently encountered.
The differentiating factor becomes more clear when we make the words antonyms. Normal to Abnormal and Common to Uncommon. Abnormal is consistently used to qualify situations or organisms with negative traits, e.g. abnormal growth, abnormal results, or abnormal behavior. Uncommon enumerates a rarely occurring circumstance or sought after quantity, e.g. uncommon valor, uncommon skills, or Uncommonly Good.
As we use our vast language, we must be mindful of the nuances that we unintentionally place in our conversations. I regularly lack the precise word I wish to use and must make do with the first word that comes to mind, whether it is the one I wanted or not. While communicating, it is convenient to use the first word on the tip of our tongues and brains, and certainly not always with the intention to injure another. Yet, when one considers the message that is being subtly sent each and every time the word "normal" is used in conjunction with something that is in fact "common" we are telling others that not being a part of the majority makes them an unwanted quality, such as cancer.
Women and men are both common and normal. Heterosexuality is common and normal. Homosexuality is less common and normal.
Love one another and experience #maximizedempowerment every day!
